10 Commandments of Crochet

10 Commandments of Crochet by Cindy Long It's a difficult balancing act to survive the day-to-day routine without raising the ire of a crocheting family member. So, here are the definitive "10 Commandments" of living with a crocheter:

1. Thou shalt not call it "knitting". Nothing will raise the hackles of a die hard crocheter faster than mistaking this craft for the k-word.
2. Thou shalt always look before sitting down. Errant hooks can find their way quite easily among sofa cushions, and thus into tender body parts, regardless of how "well padded" they may be.
3. The Yarn Stash is sacred above all. Thou shalt never touch, move, organize, spindle or mutilate in any way. THIS MEANS YOU!
4. Yes, I do need all those pattern books.
5. There really is a difference between a work-in-progress and an abandoned project, although it may have been just as long since either one of them has been touched.
6. Thou shalt never interrupt my crocheting to have me watch the greatest play the team ever made. No, it isn't special; it's just like every other sports event on TV.
7. Do not remind me that there are more important things in life than crochet. I already know that. Right now, I can't really think what they are, but I know there must be something.
8. Never ask how much I spent on yarn, hooks or patterns. This will only force me to lie to you. Then I will feel guilty for lying, and of course, I can only allay my guilt by buying more yarn.
9. Never refer to my crocheted gifts to you as "homemade". Instead, they are "lovingly crafted" ... or better yet, "custom-styled".
10. Saturday morning is my time to devote strictly to crochet. Please honor it with no distractions ...and Friday night as well ...and probably Wednesday afternoon. And anytime I need to make a birthday gift. But that's it. Except for, of course, if I need to make a baby layette, or ...